Join me on a roller coaster ride through the wacky world of online dating, where emojis are our only guide, and profile pictures are like a box of chocolates – you never know what you're gonna get!

• The Photoshop Chronicles:

Let's talk profile pictures. We've all seen those photos that make us question the laws of physics. If a person's head is bigger than their torso, it's either a Photoshop masterclass or a case of extreme selfies gone wrong.

My date looked like a walking Instagram filter, and I couldn't help but wonder if they'd show up in person with a cartoon dog nose and ears.

• The Mystery of the Vanishing Act:

You match with someone, exchange a few messages, and then poof! They disappear into the abyss of cyberspace. Did they get abducted by aliens? Are they living a double life as a secret agent?

Or did they accidentally delete their dating app and lose all memory of our charming conversation about the merits of pineapple on pizza? We may never know.

• The Emoji Overload:

Texting in the online dating world is a delicate dance of emojis. But beware of the emoji enthusiasts who communicate exclusively through hieroglyphics.

A string of fire emojis and thumbs up may seem positive, but decoding the hidden meaning behind a dancing salsa lady followed by a pizza emoji requires a PhD in Emojinomics. Is it a dinner invitation or a declaration of war? The mystery deepens.

• The Name Game:

In the vast landscape of online dating, you'll encounter people with names that could double as Scrabble-winning words.

Trying to pronounce them is like attempting to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. You end up creating nicknames based on their initials or a vague resemblance to your favorite dessert. "Meet my date, Tiramisu."